I took this trip to Monterey to discover a new me, find my inspiration and be kind to myself. I tried to find myself. Although I must say I slept as much as I did here than I did for a month back in sf, but I still have bags under my eyes, I still think about you, you, and you. There may be a lack of phone signal, heaps of work to catch up on, unbearable wifi, but I did however manage to love a little piece of myself.
I realize how much we long for human interaction, technology, and love, but at the same time we strive for the beauty of nature.
Nothing has to be black and white, but what if all we see is grey and in between? Would we have enough yin and yang, happy and sad, moon and sun, and balance all over?
I may want to spend the night looking at the stars, moon, and sunset. I may want to just lay on the beach all day. I may suppress all horrible memories, reflect all the good moments, but no matter what, it'll still be there.
As an artist I long for perfection and inspiration everywhere and anywhere. And so I took this trip to reflect who I am, what I've become, love myself in order to truly love anyone else. This is all a learning experience. Whatever we do, whatever mistake we encounter, whatever heartbreak we cried of, it'll still be there. It'll still be hard to overcome, it'll still be apart of us. But we've learned through the hardest and darkest time that this is a part of life. A part of who we are and we grow from it. I'm not saying there's an off switch or a button to turn off all feelings aside and forget all worries.
It might take some baby steps, it might take a week or a month, but we got this.